REFLECTIVE JOURNAL SCRIPTWRITING

Today I had my feedback from my tutor on improvements of my outline so far, these were the major points in which I have acted on:

1) Adding a longer ending: I have added an ending where Janet and Liam are greeted with military and we end the film knowing they are safe for now. However Rick’s whereabouts are still unknown, we assume he is dead. I have added a shot of London in the background burning that Janet will look back on to show that it is a massive attack on England and not directed at the train specifically.

2) Why is Rick going the Edinburgh: Before the feedback I didn’t put thought into why Rick was initially heading to Edinburgh. So now I have come up with the idea to link the accident which killed Frankie to the place by saying they were on holiday in Edinburgh when it happened and he decides to go back to say goodbye to Frankie properly and start a new life up there so he can be close to her.

3) Introduce more character dynamics: I was told that in the actual outline I don’t distinguish the characters enough and should add a bit more description on their backstories. I didn’t have a lot of words to play with as I am now coming up to maximum amount of words so I have added just a few bits into their introductory scene:

Rick is accompanied by, courageous Hayley (25) who is travelling for a better life. Janet (35) and Phil (38), who have been married for 11 years, they wear designer clothes. It’s clear that Janet is the one in control. They are with their introverted son, Liam (10).

I have added a different prologue to Ricks history, instead of making him run away because Frankie fell pregnant, I have made it so they were happily in love and they both couldn’t wait for their child to be born. But, on the way to a holiday they were involved in a car accident due to Rick not paying attention to the road, they swerved into a tree, Rick got badly hurt and Frankie died. Rick, not knowing what to do, decided to run away.

I fell that this helps my story a little more and explains more why Rick is the way he is.

I have gotten to the start of Act 3 in my outline and I have had writers block for a few days now so I went onto youtube and researched how to create a good powerful ending. I looked at the two videos:

Killer Endings –

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd01YOPovV8

Great Endings –

Killer Endings told me that I need to know the end of my film before I write the story otherwise I won’t know how to start writing the beginning and each change the characters have to make. The on Great Endings Macnab-Stark explains the three different most common elements that good powerful films have, these are:

Up Ending – good ending. End of Act 2 is the most negative to allow a successful ending.

Down Ending – Negative ending. Opposite to up ending..

Ambivalent Ending – The low point at the end of Act 2. Hero doesn’t get what they want but not what they need. For example Rocky. Rocky wants to win the fight but needs respect. At the end of the film he doesn’t win however he gains respect.

When looking at my own idea I know that I can either go for an Up Ending or an Ambivalent ending as I have already written the end of Act 2 as the lowest point in my film. The options for my climactic ending will be:

Up Ending – Rick defeats the Alien and manages to find happiness. (Wants to find tranquility, needs to have courage.)

Ambivalent Ending – Rick defeats the Alien, however he also dies as a result of this.

Whichever one I chose will be what I feel at the time. However at the moment I am leaning more towards the up ending as I normally end my films on a low or ambivalent ending so it would be nice to try something different.

As I’m writing more of my outline I have managed to grasp my overall theme for my feature film idea. The theme I have settled on is that “you can’t always run away from your problems”. I plan on embracing this theme through the setting, character and the back story of my character.

Setting:

By basing my main setting inside a wrecked train makes it very claustrophobic which makes it very difficult for the characters to escape and forces them to deal with the problems that comes up in the film.

Character:

This theme gives me a good guide line to keep too when it comes to developing my protagonists character arc. My protagonist will go to aways running away from his problems and always being afraid, to having to fight against the Aliens and become the hero of the story.

The ending will reflect how I feel on the issue of running way from your problems. My personal opinion on it is that I think it’s a good thing to face your fears and opens up new opportunities, I will show this in the climax and ending of my film outline.

Rick:

Rick is in his late 30’s. He has lived in Luton most of his life. When he was younger he was always protected by his parents. He was bullied till he was 16 years of age. He never stood up for himself. He has always had an interest in trains since he was 7 years old. He collected them and would study the dynamics of a train. From the age of 16 he started working as a cleaner at the local train station. He met Frankie through his job [PASSIVE CHARACTER, ONLY IN FILM IN DREAMS OR FLASHBACKS]. They were childhood sweethearts. When they turned 18 she accidentally fell pregnant. When Rick found out he got scared and ran away. He moved around the country, a new place sprung a new problem. He turned up in Luton aged 30. He befriended Pete who he met on a drunken night at the pub. He has been living in Luton since.

Hayley:

Hayley is a 32 year old woman. She has ginger hair and is small in build. Hayley is very feisty and she isn’t afraid of much. She was brought up in a rough area of London and suffered a bad childhood.

Janet and Phil:

Business couple. Very wealthy and posh, they are career driven but always manage to put their child first. They are heading up to Preston with their 10 year old son for a family / business trip.

Liam:

Innocent and naive boy. He also has a love for trains and carries his favourite train toy around him at all times.